hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
