You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
