Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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