this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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