Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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