we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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