pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
