tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
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I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
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I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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