I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Randomize
