What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
He shit in the fireplace
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
