I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
So gin and wine won't be happening again
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
