i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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