Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
