his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
