He disabled his match.com account in front of me
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
