Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
