He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
