Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Randomize