I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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