yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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