theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
