Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.