he thought i was a dude.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
