You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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