EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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