he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
