I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize