It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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