Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize