its not stalking. its research.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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