The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
