Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
She announced her abortion via fbk
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Randomize
