very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
