Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
