i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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