Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
