I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
