Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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