Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
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