Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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