If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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