I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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