you would pick up someone in the library
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
