i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
