her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
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