She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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