Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
