my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
