Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
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