i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
she told me i tasted like america
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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