I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
