I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
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He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
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I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
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