My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
