Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize