I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Me. At least after what I've been through.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
