A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
