I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
