yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Randomize
